A call has been made for early conversations with young people about coercive control as part of preventing violence against women and girls. The discussion follows reports of inappropriate comments made by two male pupils towards a female classmate during school hours, described by a local mother. The behaviour was dismissed by some as typical for teenagers, prompting concerns that such attitudes are being normalised.

Coercion involves using pressure, manipulation, intimidation, threats, guilt, fear or persistent behaviour to influence another person's choices. It does not always involve shouting or explicit threats and can be presented as concern or love. Examples include jealousy disguised as care, constant questioning about whereabouts, checking a partner's phone, controlling finances or repeatedly pressuring someone into sex.

Possessiveness is often romanticised, with controlling behaviour described as protective or devoted. This normalisation can make it harder to recognise when control becomes abuse. Early warning signs of coercion may include a partner needing to know where someone is at all times or isolating them from friends.

Educating young people should cover what healthy relationships look like, including that love does not mean ownership and jealousy is not proof of love. Consent must be active, mutual and freely given, not something worn down through persistence. Both sons and daughters need to understand boundaries and that no one owes access to their bodies, time or friendships simply due to being in a relationship.

Conversations should happen at home, in classrooms, on sports teams, in youth groups and in workplaces. Key questions include what respect looks like, what consent means and how to respond if a friend is being controlled. Teaching boys about coercion is not an attack on them but an opportunity to understand boundaries, consent and responsibility.

The focus should shift from asking why someone stayed in an abusive situation to examining why the abuser felt entitled to control. Coercion can be difficult to explain because it often involves many small incidents rather than one dramatic event. It may look insignificant from the outside but feel suffocating from the inside.

Prevention requires cultural change and repeated conversations, not a single lesson. Recognising early warning signs, challenging jokes that normalise control and stopping the romanticisation of possessiveness are essential steps.